By Tony Magrathea
It’s time to visit imaginarium.
Football is now played just once every three years and the latest winner did it fairly easily. The captain of the winning team is Tony Abbott, but he carried a dirty little secret into the game in the form of an extra football tucked up his jumper.
The referee knew all about it but couldn’t blow his whistle because the Football Association was barred from looking for hidden footballs. The FA was stopped from doing this by rules set down by Tony’s fullback Senator Ronaldson the Special Minister for State.
The crowd could complain but it was a home game and two of them had to scrape up $500 and go to the High Court within 40 days of the game finishing, lots of drinking done after the game so some forgot and others had no money to do it with.
The game ended ages ago so the only way for anything to be done about the cheating now is one or two of Tony’s team mates complaining to a few other team mates and they decide amongst themselves what was going to happen. Needless to say nothing did happen.
The opponents couldn’t really complain about it because it was believed one or two of their bench players had extra balls stuffed up their jumpers too.
The reporters said nothing because they reckoned it could have been a birth defect and such embarrassment for the reporter who brought THAT sort of thing up.
The foreign press loved it, giggled madly at how stupid we Australians were for putting up with such blatant cheating, but they were all poms or wogs so don’t really count.
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